The Big Short

Silence, inseam warrior. A gigantic short enjoyer is talking.

From the makers of Hair Down to Your Ass, we present to you…Shorts Down to Your Ankles. Some may say “Well, Weeks, isn’t that just a capri?” And to that I’d say “I didn’t realize you were a cop.”

Ok ok ok, let’s reel it in. I do have a point to make, after all. A point that most people with functioning eyes are already aware of, but a point nonetheless: big shorts. They’re everywhere. They defy gender rules and roles, faux pas, our parents cognitive loads, the laws of physics, etc. They’re donned by fashion bros and baddies alike. Adam Sandler walked so we all could run, and baby I was born to run!

In an age where everything is so utterly polarizing, the big short is an apex point. Trend wise, we’ve been seeing them in the mainstream for a few seasons now but, as time has passed, there’s been a sharp progression. Almost every brand nowadays seems to have some in their collections. And, what generally used to be a modest at-the-knee short has grown into something larger and more powerful.

I’ll admit—there was a time when I felt that a big short was too casual or that they overly grunge-ified my look. There’s a time and a place. But I’ve learned with the right pairings, they can be anything. There are many iterations to be had and subsequently, many ways to style them. Let’s do a quick dive on the different looks so you, too, can find your big short persona.

The People’s Jort

There are levels to this. You can take it as far as you'd like but the jort is a classic and safe bet. While jort colloquially translates to "jean short," I'd argue it's more about the shape/vibe than the fabric itself. The silhouette is democratic. It has survived suburban dads, indie sleaze, and whatever we're calling the current thing(s). From ecru to indigo, thrifted to designer, there are plenty of new and vintage styles out there. The cockroach of summer fashion—said with immense admiration and respect, of course.

Shopping suggestions: Levi’s 470 Baggy 14” Shorts | | Uniqlo Jorts Shorts | Vintage Wranger Denim Shorts (Sz 38)

JNCO Jester

Deep in the webby corners of eBay (aka an easy SEO-tailored search away) lie some of Y2Ks most pivotal styles past. JNCO, Fubu, Ecco Unlimited, Southpole, to name a few. The patron saints of oversized. Thirty-inch leg openings, enough fabric to house a family of four, and absolutely no interest in proportionality. Born in the worlds of skating, raving, nu-metal, and e-boy excess. Shows up wherever subtlety has been formally banned. Go big or go home!

Shopping suggestions: JNCO Wide Load Shorts | Vintage Southpole Mecca Acid Wash Shorts (Sz 31) | Vintage Ecco Unlimited Baggy Denim Shorts (Sz 36)

Cargos Got Money Troubles

Every few years, the cargo short gets dragged into the town square and publicly ridiculed, only to emerge completely unfazed. Originally built for utility and carrying an unreasonable amount of stuff, the cargo has largely been co-opted. For a certain generation (heyyyy), its peak cultural relevance arrived in the aggressively scented halls of the mall—Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle—where they hung just below the knee with flip-flops and an overpriced graphic tee advertising a beach you’d never visit. The pockets were enormous, the vibes were coastal, and whether you lived in SoCal or suburban Ohio was largely irrelevant. Still is!

Shopping suggestions: Elwood Baggy Cargo | Vintage Abercrombie & Fitch Fatigue Cargos (Sz 32) | Gap 11” Essential Cargo Shorts

Gaucho Marx

These-could-have-been-pants-but-they're-not. Existing in the liminal space between short, pant, skirt, and philosophical exercise, the gaucho asks us to reconsider the very notion of legwear. The inseam stretches ever downward. The airflow remains undefeated. Historically adjacent to equestrian wear, contemporary interpretations range from Japanese avant-garde to wealthy aunt on vacation. Sometimes you yearn for pants, but also a warm summer breeze kissing your ankle bones. Have at it.

Shopping suggestions: Gap Low Rise Trouser Culotte Pants | COS Pleated Cotton Pants | 90s Yohji Yamamoto Culotte Pants (Sz 33)

Lolita in Nolita

Your honor, they're pairing basketball shorts with the baby tees. And somehow it's working. What was once reserved for gym class, AAU tournaments, or sleeping over at a friend's house has been elevated to happy hour attire. Mesh, satin, cotton, pleated—this is less a specific fabrication and more a styling philosophy. The formula hinges on contrast: sporty and delicate, oversized and tiny, effort and no effort. Often accompanied by flats, kitten heels, tiny sunglasses…a Hugo Spritz (sold separately).

Shopping suggestions: Y2K Baggy Blue Mesh Basketball Shorts (Sz XL) | Vintage Yellow Mesh Basketball Shorts | Any Goodwill or thrift store shorts section, frankly

Prep School Dropout

Move over, Chad, Brad, and Tad. The chino short is ours for the taking (with consent). Roomy, often pleated, usually khaki, timelessly classic. Worn with oversized button-downs, distressed tees, loafers, and an air of casual competence. Unlike its louder cousins, the chino short doesn't need attention. It already has a summer home out east.

Shopping suggestions: Vintage Ralph Lauren ‘Tyler’ Shorts (Sz 34, Navy) | Uomo Clothing Black Linen Short | Banana Republic 8” Pleated Short

Tech Deck

This one is Neo from The Matrix if he hung around Lot Radio and Nowadays. It’s not quite your everyday short. It’s often utilitarian in nature. Long, big and/or with obscurely shaped pockets, interesting silhouette, probably black. From designer to Dickies, it’s equally at home on a dance floor, in a dark room, or standing outside at 7 a.m. debating whether the party is over. Your call.

Shopping suggestions: Dickies 13” Hemp Twill Work Shorts | Det Blev Sent Black Waxed Fatigue Shorts | G-Star Rovic Zip Relaxed Shorts

Love them or hate them, big shorts have cemented their place in the summer fashion zeitgeist. The only question now is how far down you're willing to go.